November 8, 2012
Sibling Rivalry
“We must love one another, yes, yes, that’s all true enough, but nothing says we have to like each other. It may be the very recognition of all men as our brothers that accounts for the sibling rivalry, and even enmity, we have toward so many of them.”
- Peter DeVries
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Romans 12:10
Sibling rivalry is a deep rooted cultural phenomenon that dates back to the early years of creation. It in fact got its start between Cain and Abel, the first real set of siblings: their rivalry lead to death.
Throughout the Bible we can find additional case studies for the behavior patterns of sibling rivalry.
We have Jacob and Esau who fought for attention from their Father and the birth right of the eldest. There is also Joseph and his ten brothers: they beat him up and sold him into slavery. Even the disciples, amongst which there were brothers rivaled to determine who was the most loved or important.
And of course anyone who has had a sibling or known siblings down through the ages has had opportunity, on probably more than one occasion, to witness the effects of sibling rivalry.
It can range from mild verbal taunts, to physical combats, to disassociation and in the most extreme cases, as the one noted above, extermination.
Sadly, sibling rivalry is not restricted to the physical realm of those children who live in the same house with the same adults. With mixed families so common these days, often those rivalries can extend beyond one household to many households, but still worse yet it often extends beyond the physical realm into the spiritual and sibling rivalry can even be found within the House of God among those who have been adopted into the family of God through the shed blood of Jesus.
It seems that just like we can’t seem to get along with each other in our physical and biological families; neither can we get along within our spiritual family either.
While love can be tough: it is not supposed to be cruel, calculatingly hurtful or viscous. When Jesus taught us to love one another and to be kindly affectionate towards each other; I don’t think He was including sibling rivalry among what He considered to be acceptable.
I have often heard it said, eternity is going to be awfully long if we can’t learn how to get along better down here. Of course by eternity we will be changed and we will be perfect: but if we want to be more pleasing to God in the meantime; it would seem that we should put these rivalries aside and really learn how to come together in Christian love.
Today’s Prayer
Father, just like I don’t have to like the sin to love the sinner: I don’t have to like everything my siblings in the faith might do in order to love them. Help me to love them the way that you want me to and not the way I think I should.
“There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold
There is a Spirit, who brings a fire
Ignites a candle and makes His home.
Frustrated brother see how he’s tired to
light his own candle some other way.
See now your sister she’s been robbed and lied to
Still holds a candle without a flame.
So carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the lonely, the tired and worn.
Hold out your candle for all to see it,
Take your candle, go light your world.“
- Lyrics from ‘Go Light Your World’ by Chris Rice
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